Moving on
by Devoregirl
Summary: Post S03E07. Felicity is trying to move on with her life.


She strode across the back lot of Verdant, heels clicking briskly as she made her way towards the hidden entrance of the club. Her footsteps faltered slightly as she crossed the cemented ground, the memory of Oliver asking her out less than two months ago still fresh in her mind and yet simultaneously felt like a vivid dream she had long ago; a complicated amalgamation of emotions and actions that had blended in with regret and longing, too painful for her to think about.

She shook her head mentally, bringing herself out of the then and into the now. Because that's what Felicity Smoak was doing with her life nowadays, she was moving on. No matter what she felt, no matter what every atom of her being longed for, ached for, she didn't have a say in it anymore. Oliver was stubborn that way. And she was too young to just stop living her life and wait for a man who had written himself off as a dead man walking.

Felicity blinked away the moisture that had collected in her eyes as she quickly hit the numbers on the keypad, collecting herself physically and mentally as she walked down the stairs of the lair, her high heels clanking with every step.

She saw Digg leaning against the stainless steel table, frowning as he read a file. Placing her bag on the computer table next to the keyboard, she made her way over to him offering a cursory smile and a greeting when he looked up.

"Hey, girl. Long time no see." John said softly returning her smile.

"It's not really been that long, Digg. I mean, sure I haven't been coming in every day but I have an real job that needs me to put in some extra time now." Her tone was a little harsh and she regretted it immediately after the words left her mouth.

"Are you sure it's not because of Palmer?" There was an edge in Diggs voice as he mentioned her current boss, his dislike of the man clear.

"And what if it is?" Felicity glared defiantly at the man she considered as her brother.

"Does Oliver know?" trust Digg to get to the point.

"Does he know what?" she challenged.

"That you're dating Palmer."

"Okay, first of all his name is Ray. Not 'Palmer'" She drew quotation marks in the air as she mentioned his name, "Secondly, I don't see why I have to. I don't recall Oliver keeping me up to date with his love life with McKenna. Or Helena. Or Laurel. Or Sarah. Or Isabel and every single woman he has slept with. So why should I?"

"Because he loves you." Digg said softly

"And he made it quite clear that he doesn't want to be with me. Seriously, John. We already talked about this. You and I, I mean. Oliver is emotionally constipated and he and I haven't talked since last week. Which is not because I have been ignoring him, because I'm not. He is still my friend even if he refuses to be my significant other. It's just that we haven't actually seen each other after the Carrie Cutter thing. Speaking of, he made it clear again last week that he cannot be with anyone. So I'm moving on with my life because I deserve so much more than living on maybes and waiting for the chance of happiness that he may never find it in himself to give me." She was out of breath after her speech, her eyes glistened with unshed tears as her resolve strengthened. She was moving on.

John nodded sadly, he hated that his best friend, (His partner. His brother because that's what Oliver Queen was to him now, his brave, strong, determined and extremely _stupid_ younger brother) was stubbornly denying himself and Felicity happiness. They were both falling apart and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

It was past ten pm when Felicity decided to leave the foundry. Diggle had headed out an hour ago, mentioning something about spending time with his family as he squeezed her shoulder gently as a gesture of support.

She sighed as she walked to her car. She missed Oliver. She missed seeing him and making him smile with her babbling. She missed talking to him and watching his shirtless workouts. She missed the love and affection that seemed to pour out him when he looked at her. Ugh, she missed him.

She sat in her car and rested her head against the steering wheel for a second. She wanted Oliver in her life and she hoped that she could at least have his friendship. Sighing, she sat up straight and turned her radio on loud, drowning her depressing thoughts as she drove back home.

* * *

It was early the next morning when she entered the foundry, the darkness just giving way to the first rays of dawn. She had left a program running and wanted to see the results her search had come up with before heading off to her office for an early start.

She was reading the results as she leaned back against the chair when she heard the metal door to the lair open and close followed by heavy footsteps. She swung the chair around and watched Oliver make his way down the stairs, pulling the hood off and removing his mask before he registered her presence. She watched as he schooled his features from one of surprise and exhaustion to a neutral mask.

"What are you doing here?" His voice is soft as he makes his way over to her.

"I just dropped in a few minutes ago to check up on my program. What are you doing here so late? Did you just get back?" Her voice is laced with concern as her brain processes the dark circles and pallor that stand as a stark contrast to each other on his face.

"Yeah, busy night." His smile seems a bit forced and she can see that he is struggling to keep his neutral mask in place.

"Well, you look like crap." Felicity stated bluntly, " Have you been coming back this late every day?"

"Crime never rests." He said staring resolutely at her.

"From the looks of it, neither do you." She quipped and she could swear that she saw his lips turn upwards slightly at her comeback.

"It helps me clear my head." He replied honestly and she felt a twinge of regret for not calling to check up on him. He was her friend after all.

"Oliver, if you need to talk about something, I'm here for you."

"I know that." His voice was barely a whisper. "Thank you." His smile was genuine even though his eyes were sad. "How have you been, Felicity?"

"I've been good. Work's good, you know. Everythings… good." She gestured vaguely with her hands as she spoke.

"That's good." He nodded then cleared his throat awkwardly, "uhm, how's Palmer?"

"He's good." She nodded her head once, biting her lower lip as she considered bringing up the elephant in the room. "We are getting coffee together, actually. Today, in fact. Getting to know each other better.

"That's good to know. You deserve to be happy, Felicity." He held her gaze as he spoke, sincerity coming off him in waves along with the slightest hint of another emotion she couldn't place.

Seeming to make up her mind, she smiled one last time before turning around and walking to the stairs. She paused before she spoke without turning "You deserve to be happy too, Oliver. I'm here for you." The but I can't wait for you hung unspoken in the air as she walked back upstairs to see that the sun was up, she moving on.

She went out on two dates after getting coffee with Ray. They kissed. Sparks didn't fly but it was nice. She thinks she can live with nice even as she thinks longingly of when Oliver kissed her, it was more than nice. it was love and fireworks, need and want. But she couldn't have that so she would stick with nice.

It was another week when Oliver Queen left with the League of Assasins that she realized with a sinking heart that he looked relieved. He was walking towards hopelessness and certain death and he looked relived. The epiphany dawned on her as she watched him walk away, her heart breaking knowing with a finality that even the possibility of having anything more than nice with any man had left with him. She had thought she was capable of moving on, but she wasn't. And neither was he.

**A/N: Ugh, this turned out a bit weird. I honestly felt it was better in my head -_- Comments? Suggestions?**


End file.
